Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Day 8

I'm not sure if anyone really wants to be reading about my little world, but it helps me when I post about this daily.

So Monday rolls around and it hits....I want to eat real food! It doesn't help that it rained all day and was cold. When the weather is like this I just want something warm. I did okay until dinner time. I wanted cereal, bread, and peanut butter because salad, smoothies, or fruit just didn't sound good. I broke. I had a bazillion spoonfuls of peanut butter and a slice of bread with smart balance spread. Then I brushed my teeth and told myself I was done even though I felt bad that I couldn't eat what I wanted.

I guess I could eat what I wanted....if I was weak and not willing to stare my problem in the face. I could just run away and hide in food like always or I can break the binge/diet cycle. I want this to work. It just doesn't feel like it will right now. Really I just need to stop making a big deal out of this. Somewhere in this world there are a lot bigger problems than mine.

Tuesday is a new day and the day I will buckle down and finish what I started. So far I've had coffee and an all fruit smoothie for breakfast. Lunch will be a green smoothie and dinner will be a big salad with lots of veggies. I'm going to the store today to stock up on fresh fruits and veggies and 100% juice.


Meghan said...

Leisa, I've been contemplating all morning of what I could say that might be helpful for you. I have no idea if this will be beneficial, but here goes...

First, I want you to know that you are not expected to be perfect. You've said before that you sometimes feel like a hypocrite when you're not making the greatest food choices. I don't expect you to be perfect, even if you are my personal trainer and even if I do look up to you for fitness and nutrition tips. When I hear about your struggles, it actually helps me feel better about some of my bad choices. I feel like it's ok, that I'M not expected to be perfect either. In substance abuse recovery that's called a relapse, and relapse is a normal part of recovery. The important thing, as you know, is to get yourself back on track as quickly as possible after the slip.

When you are struggling, or tempted, go back to some of your previous posts and read about how great you've felt this past week. Remind yourself why you're doing this in the first place. Think about the fact that you want to be healthy and happy. Remember that you want to be a good influence for your kids. Remind yourself how in control you've felt this past week, and how amazing that feels.

You are doing a great job, an amazing job. You've set a goal for yourself to follow through with this plan for 30 days. You're almost 1/3 of the way though it! You don't want to give up on yourself now.

Remember, one day at a time. Have a successful day TODAY. Worry about tomorrow when it comes.

Kristen's Raw said...

Huge cheers for green smoothies!

Leisa said...

Meghan...thank you so much. It's great to hear that you don't expect me to be perfect. I know I am hard on myself, but I am the only one who is. Of course it's okay to slip sometimes. You are right. I did feel great last week and not so much today. I like being in control. Here's to one day at a time. Thanks!

Cammie said...

Keep working through it! I know you can do it.