So far so good

Just a little post before we head out to the movie and dinner. So far I've done fantastic (in my mind) and wanted to recognize that fact before I face temptation. Not that it is any temptation, because I've already made up my mind about what I will and will not eat. Over and out.

Ooopps!

No one is perfect, right? No one expects me to be perfect, do they? I didn't think so. With that in mind, day 9 can be flushed right down the toilet. I'm not sure what happened but my resolve dissolved into a food mess. I won't post what I ate, just know that is was not a fruit or vegetable. But that was yesterday and this is today. I can't do anything about the past...all I can do is move on and focus on today.

Which, BTW, today is Tre's birthday. Happy 9th Tre! Celebrations are always tough. This is what I will do to get through it:

• Dinner is at Sweet Tomatoes...great for me (salad, fruit, no preparation!), and great for Tre (unlimited ice cream and chocolate sauce and sprinkles).
• He is not a huge fan of cake so I am making mint brownies. He loves them and I don't care for them at all. Mint and chocolate does not do it for me...it's kinda like brushing your teeth then biting into chocolate. All that gooey chocolate is ruined by the fresh mint taste.
• I'll be busy today with wrapping, baking, watching the Dance Festival at his school, and going to see Speed Racer right after school. No time to get bored and eat.

That's the plan. And if I stick to the diet today I'll be pretty happy.

Day 6 & 7

Not bad, not bad at all. I survived Cafe Rio on Saturday. No problem here. I just ordered a salad like usual and asked for an extra plate. Then I took most of the lettuce, pico de gallo, guacamole, and black beans and let Belle and Jer eat the rest. It was fantastic!

Then there was lunch at Nana's house on Sunday. They had shredded pork sandwiches on fresh rolls, corn on the cob, strawberry pie, cupcakes, and a bowl full of mini chocolate bars. I had caesar salad and tomato slices. I also opened up a can of diet Dr. Pepper, had about 3 sips, decided I didn't want it and gave the rest to Tre.

I feel normal otherwise. If you can call me normal. I really want this to work. I would hate for all this hard work to go down the drain as soon as I start eating real food again. Not that fruits and veggies aren't real food, but you know what I mean.

Weight as of Monday morning: 131.8

My goal is to stay between 125 and 130 year round. This is easy for me around Christmas time (must be all that holiday cheer) but seems to be a little more difficult in the summer months. Crazy.

I'm thinking that if I can resist Nana's strawberry pie, I can resist anything as long as I put my mind to it. The trick was deciding before hand that there would be no question. I made my decision and I was not going to back down. I wanted to be in control, not the other way around. Bring on week 2!

Day 5

It's been five day of eating only fruits, vegetable, and a little peanut butter. At this point I feel proud, in control, happy, and skinny. I have lost 4.2 pounds so far (probably water) but feel 30 pounds lighter. My clothes fit better, I hold myself higher because I am not ashamed of being a hypocrite, and I feel in control. Food doesn't have control over me...I have control over it.

Fruits and vegetables have a more intense taste now. A fresh strawberry or some frozen banana pieces explode in my mouth and I'm pretty sure they have a party. Last night we went out to dinner. Wingers no less. I ordered the Chicken Mango Salad minus the chicken, almonds, dressing, and tortilla strips. A huge bowl of satisfying crisp lettuce, soft juicy mango pieces, and candy-like Craisins. Add a little tiny bit of poppy seed dressing (I'm talking maybe a teaspoon) and I was in heaven. Sounds corny but it's the truth.

I haven't had any cravings as of yet. I know it's early still but they say the first week is the hardest. After Monday, it's all down hill. The trick will be when (if) I start eating other healthy foods like lean protein, whole grains, light sauces and dressings, and small portions of my favorite treats.

Memorial Day will not have a hold on me. I'll have some fun for sure, but it will not revolve around food thank you very much.

Day 4

I don't feel hungry anymore. That empty feeling in my gut is gone and I my stomach doesn't growl like it did at the beginning of the week. I have to remind myself to eat when I start getting low on energy. Actually food in general just doesn't sound good. Weird. My face is breaking out because of excess oil (this is supposed to be normal with detox) but I had to cinch my belt to the next hole today. Here are some stats:

• Starting weight: 136.6
• Weight on Day 4: 132.4

• Starting average daily calories: 2100
• Average daily calories now: 1055 (I know it is extremely low and not a balanced diet, I don't promote this diet to anyone unless they are seriously struggling with eating compulsion or food addiction!)

• Favorite food last week: PB sandwiches, cookies, doughnuts
• Favorite food this week: Fruit salad--one banana, 4 large strawberries chopped, one clementine mixed with 3 Tbs orange juice and cinnamon to taste

I'll keep posting about this, stay tuned to see if it is all worth it. BTW...I am nervous about Memorial Day weekend coming up and Tre's Birthday next week. Lots and lots of temptations. Family, friends, food, and fun could spell disaster.

I am strong, I am in control of my eating habits, I love my body and will treat it right.

Day 3

Today was the third day on strictly raw fruits, veggies, and 100% juice. I did add 2 Tbs of peanut butter for energy (I have to keep up with my gymnasts!). Here is what my day looked like today. BTW, I feel fantastic so far. I am also proud of myself.

Breakfast:

• 1 cup coffee
• one banana
• 1 cup orange juice

Lunch:

• Spaghetti squash
• 4 Tbs fresh salsa
• one apricot

Afternoon snack:

• 2 Tbs natural peanut butter
• 1/2 cup frozen cherries (YUM!)
• Crystal Light packet
• multi vitamin with calcium

Dinner:

• Green Smoothie: 2 cups baby spinach, 3/4 cup frozen mango, 1/2 cup frozen blueberries, 1 cup orange juice, 1 cup water; blended

Sounds weird but it is actually SO good.

I needed caffeine mid-afternoon for a little pick me up, but other than that I feel good. I am happy with my decision. I started at 136.6 pounds on Monday morning....today I am 133.4. Yes, most of this is water weight. But what am I doing holding onto all that water anyway? Probably because my body has been dehydrated and under nourished.

I was tempted today to eat other food. I didn't though and am proud of that fact. I was just going to pop something in my mouth just out of habit, not hunger, and had to stop and throw it away. The biggest temptation was when Tre offered me his cookie because he couldn't eat the rest. If you know me well you know that cookies are my one and only. No more. Cookies will not have a hold over me. I have learned to accept slight hunger and know that it is not the end of the world. Food will not go away, there is always tomorrow, and I am not starving.

Eat your fruits and veggies

That is just what I am going to do. In fact I am embarking on a new adventure. Only (raw) fruits and vegetables for the next 30 days. Yes, I said 30! You might be wondering why. Well, I'll tell you....

I have been reading up on my disordered eating habits because I am sick of falling into the same old rut. I thought there has got to be a cure out there, so online I go. Because food addiction is like any other addiction (cigarettes, drugs, alcohol) the only way to stop the destructive behavior is to quit cold turkey. That is not always easy with food since we kinda need it to live. So the next best thing is flushing out the bad by eating only raw fruits and vegetables. The goal is to teach the body and mind to live without the food. Only what is necessary to function.

I am supposed to re-learn what hunger really feels like, eat to live not live to eat, and flush the body of toxins that are supposedly in my system due to animal fats, dairy, and sugar overload. This is day two of my adventure and so far I feel great! I feel lighter (not pounds wise but it's hard to explain) and I feel in control of my behavior.

I read many tips and hints to stay away from the bad such as negative thinking. Examples: maggots in your movie popcorn, pizza sludge digesting in my gut, white flour goo loaded with sugar and fat in the form of a doughnut. Also thinking about gross thoughts when tempted (someone throwing up, finding a hair in your fast food, or a pound of lard sitting in my butt). Sounds disgusting but so far it has worked. I am also supposed to take 5 deep breaths before I eat anything, and keep a list of things to do if tempted to overeat.

I don't know if this will work or if I can really do it, but I want to try. I want control over food. Control over what and how much of it I eat. I also want to stay away from dairy, gluten, and sugar to see if I can get rid of my stomach problems and headaches. I will be taking a multi-vitamin daily and watching calcium and iron intakes. I need your support. Even if you don't agree with the severity of the program. It's like AA for food-aholics. I will keep updates about my days; what I eat, how I feel, if I am sticking to the program, and weight lost if any. Wish me luck!